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The Soft Wind That Blows Through ;
Flows Only Once And Never Again ~
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The Average Kid Round The Block, He Doesnt Give A Damn What You Do Nor What You Say To Him, 'Cuz He Knows That All The Shit That Happens, Happens For A Reason. Dont Mess With Him, Just Do Your Own Stuff And Stay Outta His Way. ghost_gothik94@hotmail.com |
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Sunday, May 16, 2010, 11:49 PM
Its been such a long time since I could be bothered to post and update my blog, but just for today, I wanted to escape from reality again and slip into a world of my own. Time and reality is catching up far too fast to me, and somehow, I doubt I will escape from it unscathed. And then again, things and events that transpired daily have built up into a mountain of grievances and sorrows which I cant really get off my mind. Love, hate, annoyance, depression.. What terrible powers these feelings possess. If I were to be completely honest with myself, I'd say that even now, after a full 2 years, I still do love her. Its not like I cant or haven't moved on.. Its just that, no matter how much I move on or no matter how much I know that I've gotta let go, I still do love her. Its something thats insubstantial, thats irrelevant to the life I'm living now, and its something that I know is eating away at me inside out. And yet, its still there. Two years, countless tears and drowned sorrows have not changed the way my heart still skips a beat when I see her. And I must confess, for I have sinned, that I probably will never love anyone else such as I love her. Sometimes, I just wonder.. If I went away overseas and never came back, who would miss me or even remember me? If I died somehow, who would cry for me? Or perhaps, maybe the more direct question here is, if I died, would she care? My world used to revolve around her, and now that its lost its focal point, its lost its balance too. They always say, the first is the hardest. I see the truth in it now. Everyday I spend here adds on to my misery. Someday, I seriously hope to leave here and leave behind all the sad memories I have. Though no doubt I will never forget, perhaps I will be able to begin anew somewhere else. Perhaps I may yet, find my destiny in some place far away from here. I am tired. And each night as I ponder and mull over these events that have transpired in my life, I silently await the tears that never come. And as it has always been, no one else would ever know or understand. |
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